so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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