Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love you.
Bad choice
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