would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize