be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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