The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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