Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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