I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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