i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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