As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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