ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize