My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize