evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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