I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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