Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize