so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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