yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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