would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize