The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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