Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You made out with two different species that night
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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