Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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