is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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