How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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