I heard we made out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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