Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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