sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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