she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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