Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look excited, but its just a facade.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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