I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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