You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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