Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
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but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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