it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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