O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize