Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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