Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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