Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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