I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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