Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize