yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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