this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i out mim tonsoeep
True college students do jello shots in the library
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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