Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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