Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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