you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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