So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
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I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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