Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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