My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
there is puke in my bra ... again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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