youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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