I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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