So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
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I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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