Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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