she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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